It started a couple of days ago.
I was having a fun conversation with blog buddy Jeff Dowler when I heard footsteps an the ceiling above my home office. Sounded way too big to be a squirrel. It sounded like something that should be living in Rock Creek Park, which surrounds Crestwood on three sides.
A monster in my attic?
Then I started to remember all of the homes I've sold in Crestwood where I had to include addenda that read:
"Raccoon dung in the attic to be removed and attic to be professionally cleaned at owners' expense prior to settlement."
"Mummified raccoon on the fireplace shelf to be removed at sellers' expense prior to settlement."
"Hibernating raccoon in attic stairwell to be relocated to parkland with point of entry to the house sealed up."
You get the drift.
Suddenly, one of these guys seems to have moved into my own attic. He sounds HUGE! He's not hibernating. And it was time to call in a professional relocation company.
When Raccoon Doom showed up, I was out previewing houses, and Dick let him in. Trapper John bravely went up to the attic and found him. He then backed down the stairs. Our monster was huge!
He found the point of entry, near the roof of the second floor verandah, so he set a trap there, just outside the bedroom door. It's one of those "have a heart" things, so it won't hurt him, but it will totally piss him off.
Trapper John will be stopping back each day until the monster comes out and heads for the bait - I'm guessing peanut butter or Raccoon Chow. They don't want to trap him in the attic because I he's heavy and it's probably hard to get a giant, angry, squirming raccoon down narrow, steep attic stairs and out of the house. Then they take him away to some nice woods. I'm hoping it's West Virginia where he won't find his way back to my nice, warm attic.
In the meantime, he is making his presense known with footsteps all over the attic. Once, it sounded like he tried to come down the stairs, making me very glad I have a good, sturdy door that Willie and the cats cannot open.
The relocation company is not really called Raccoon Doom. It's Adcock's Trapping Service, and I'm reaching the point where I don't really care weather the big guy is relocated to the wild or becomes part of someone's new coat!
Oh, Pat! That sounds mean!
But so do the noises over my head!
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